MY CRY BABY - Part 12

Part Twelve




With my daughter, went away all the happiness existed in this world. The empty house haunted me dragging me into depression. I was a lonely soul.
I was becoming insane and filled with fury. I broke my second phone shouting at my colleague. My performance dropped at the office and I felt it was better to resign. That day, I clutched my wife’s picture and burst out crying. Gradually I found solace in alcohol. 


I had no reason to live, deep down, I knew I had my sister but I didn’t want to drown her in my darkness. I was not in a position to make everything right, as she would say most of the time. She would be terribly sad to see me in this position.


The only light in the dark tunnel was the arrival of my daughter a year later. She was worried but couldn’t get leave as it was a new job. But when I didn’t answer her calls for a month, she finally resigned and came to see me. She was extremely angry for finding me in that state but she was torn when I slept off in her lap. 


For a few days, she shifted back to my place and made me join a rehab centre. I didn’t want to go but she was adamant. She used to come whenever it was permitted and slowly I found my sanity back after 6months. It was worth it after seeing my daughter’s happy face.


She requested me to get a mobile but I was comfortable with a landline phone. She told me that she had to take my leave. I promised her that I would not revert back to my alcoholic days and go without having any fear. She told her that her husband got a research opportunity in Europe and she was hesitant to leave me behind in the US. I assured her that I would join her whenever she wanted.


My life was getting back to normal. I kept myself busy, took various volunteering opportunities and concentrated more on my health. I intentionally kept myself so occupied that there was no room even for my thoughts. I didn’t want to be a worry to my daughter.


I met my office colleague when I was grocery shopping. He was the one who took my position when I resigned. We exchanged pleasantries and went on our way but a few minutes later he came rushing back to me and said that I got a few personal emails even after my resignation.


My heart stopped for a second. I remembered that she must have had only my office email id after I broke my phone. 


I pleaded my colleague if I could have those emails. I didn’t know her whereabouts for past 2years. I was ashamed. 


He took me to his home and managed to give her emails in a pen drive. I thanked all the million Gods then. I expressed my immense gratitude and told that he was a big savior.


I was anxious to get back home. I remembered all the moments we spent in a quick flashback and how I failed her. She has been my strength whenever I needed her. She has been my everything, a big hope, and my only well-wisher when I lost everyone.


I hurried with the locks and switched my laptop on. I connected the pen drive and finally found the mails folder. The last one has dated six months ago.
She shared pictures of her family. [her children grew so big]
…
She asked about my health and scolded me for answering calls and emails. [I felt sorry and wanted to apologize intensely]
…
…
She requested me to pick up my phone, telling me that it's not the same talking to my daughter. She wanted to listen to my voice. [I realized that tears were running down my eyes]
…
Few emails included birthday wishes, wedding anniversary wishes, festival wishes etc. [I was still in her thoughts]
…
She sent a mail on my daughter’s first wedding anniversary. [I remembered that I didn’t even wish her then]
…
Her last email said about this terrible nightmare she had and the terrible condition I was in. She tried to call me but failed, she scolded me to her heart content and gave me the warning to call as soon as possible. [I clutched my head and burst into tears. I knew how sensitive she was about these things.]


For a few moments, I couldn’t do anything but cry. But then I had to see her immediately. I wasted no time and took the next flight available to India.


I called my daughter on the way to the airport and asked about her conversation with my sister. She started telling me from the beginning but I specifically asked her about her last call. She couldn’t remember. I informed her my plans and she told me to be careful, wishing me a very happy journey. I could sense in her voice that she was extremely happy that I am about to take this step.


It was raining heavily and sitting in the airport, waiting for my flight, all I could think was her. My Cry Baby. Things are going completely wrong now and she was the only one I have always hung on ever since I can remember. I really hope she would forgive me soon and fix me up. 


After a long and tedious journey, I finally reached my sister’s place. My nephew opened the door and was shocked to see me. I immediately enquired about di. He took a deep breath and held my hand taking me inside the home. My heart was pounding in my ears the whole time and it stopped when he took me in front of the puja mandir. I looked at him with a terror-stricken face as he pointed out a picture on the adjacent wall.


Di and Jiju were no more.





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Authors note:

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And I would like to thank all my readers for taking their time and leaving a comment/reaction. 

I apologize for my grammatical mistakes in advance. 

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